Monday, June 16, 2014

I dreamed the intern at work had a kid, and that me and my wife adopted the kid because the intern, contrary to how he is in real life, was a reckless ne'erdowell.

Another kid. Minchia!


I dreamed I was at some kind of block party, and I ate some turkey.

Fried turkey.

And it was good.

Sunday, May 25, 2014

I dreamed I was in a school, a giant red brick building. They were doing some kind of capoeira event there. I encountered a number of gringos talking wack Portuguese asking for directions to the roda.

Then I went outside, and Louis CK was there, waving a gun. He was going to shoot himself in the head. I tackled him and wrestled the gun away from him, and he began to weep.

Thursday, May 15, 2014

I dreamed I was in an airport in the Netherlands. It was mostly pink inside, and made of giant concentric pods, rings upon rings, multiple levels looking up and down. Trying to get on a connecting flight. No chance.


I dreamed I was in a hotel bar becoming indescribably intimate with Pamela Anderson. I don't even particularly like Pamela Anderson.


I dreamed everyone at my job just up and quit.

That was fun.


When I was young, I used to daydream a lot, and usually my daydreams turned into grotesque lies that I would tell my brother, Fuzzy. Fuzzy and I would sit on the hood of my dad's car in the street, usually also with the girls across the way. It would be just twilight, and we'd be looking up at the stars and the overhead telephone wires. Like some caveman spinning myths from observed physical phenomena,  I'd tell them the telephone lines were actually railway lines for a magical train that would come through town every night. The train would be piloted by a man-sized duck in an engineer's cap, and he would pull up beside your window and, if you were awake, you could get on the train and take it to this magical land that was, essentially, Disneyworld: a giant amusement park and arcade, located somewhere beneath the Earth (I always imagined there was a trap door to it in our backyard). It was vast beyond imagining, and you can play any video game and ride any ride for free, and get any toy that you wanted. All gratis.

Helluva dream, huh?